me: "Thanks and have a great afternoon."
guy1: "Yeah, and thanks for cutting in line."
guy2: "What was that?"
guy1: "You jumped in front of the line."
guy2: "She opened a register and....."
guy1: "No, she said she'd take the next in line"
guy2: "Look, I'm not going to argue with you. Guys like you are always causing problems."
guy1: "You ARE the problem, ASSHOLE!"
Raised voices, pointing fingers, red faces, profanities thrown. Sounds like a scene from a bad movie. But it's not. It the scene that transpired in my line at work today, shortly before my shift was over. I actually thought it might come to blows. After they left, my heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I felt generally harassed. Why did this nasty conversation between two strangers, that didn't directly involve me, affect me so much? I was simply trying to help them out so they didn't have to wait in line. I guess I should have let them wait. A book title jumps to mind and I'd like to suggest those two "gentlemen" read it: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Life is too short and trust me, whether you're first or second in line is definitely small stuff.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Parental Opportunities
Dear Diary,
It's been almost 2 months since I wrote last. I TOLD you it wouldn't be a regular thing!
Parenting is a tough subject. Every person who has kids thinks that how they do things is the right way. I'm not claiming to be the perfect parent. I'm sure there are things I could have done, or could do in the future, better. For instance, if I could, I would be home more often so my 13-year-old could be a kid more, instead of having to babysit his sister. It's not like he has to do it every day, or all day. But in a 13-year-old's life, babysitting your sibling(s) even just a few hours, a couple times a week is torturous. I know. I had to do it. But hey, I turned out OK, right? Don't answer that.
The one thing I know I do well though, is spend every minute I can with them. Even if we are at home doing nothing.....we are at home doing nothing together. When I get off work, I don't go grocery shopping, or hanging out with friends. I go home, to my kids. Whether they admit it or not, whether they like it or not, they need me. My daughter, who's 8, needs me to keep her on task while she does her homework.....and help her spell words that are not familiar to her.....and keep her on task while she does her homework. When she's done, she needs a hug and a "Good job!" from me. She needs me to tell her to go play outside instead of sitting in front of the TV......again. My son, 13, needs me to make sure he does his homework.....check his math.....help him find social studies information in the internet. He needs me to joke around with him about girls - though he says he hates that: "Mooooom, I don't HAVE a girlfriend!" He needs me to keep his sister occupied so he can go play with friends, oh excuse me, "hang" with his friends. He needs me to give him a curfew, and remind him about it every time he leaves the house. He needs me to set ground rules (no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no girls). Well that last one USED to be no girls, now it's no kissing, in the nearby future it will be no sex. He needs (and this is really the most important) for me to enforce those rules, and give him consequences if he breaks them.
My children need bedtimes, and bedtime routines. Sometimes they need to be reminded of different ways to have fun: playing a board game, baseball in the yard, dancing in the rain, climbing a tree. When they were little, they needed me to read to them, so they would start learning to read. When we are out in public, they need to be reminded of manners, and "inside voices" and proper behavior in a store. Um, they get that reminder a lot. Haven't quite learned that lesson yet. Especially when we go in the store where I work. Since I work there, and they have been there so much in the past 5 years, I think they feel at home...........and act accordingly. However, Lowe's is not the place to play tag or run down the aisles and slide on your knees. So I constantly remind them how they are supposed to behave, and that this is my workplace and it's embarrassing for my coworkers to think my kids are barbarians who don't know how to behave in a store.
My kids need me to use every experience, good or bad, as a teaching experience. When we go shopping, I help my daughter figure out how much money she has (by counting ALL her dimes, nickels and pennies, ugh) and deciding which toy, if any, she can afford. When we watch the news and see someone was arrested for a sex crime, not only do I remind my kids that there are creeps out there and they shouldn't talk to strangers unless it's absolutely necessary - I also talk to my son about "no means no" and how a sexual arrest will follow you for the rest of your life. There was a tragic accident near our home in which a Petoskey senior was killed while trying to change a flat. I used the situation as a teaching tool for my soon-to-be-driving son. There were several lessons to learn there, for both of us.
My point is this. Children need their parents. Not just for a roof over their heads and food on the table at mealtime. They need instruction, attention, rule setting, discipline, love. Life is full of little opportunities. I worry sometimes that I won't get to all of them, and I feel so sad for the kids of parents who don't even try.
It's been almost 2 months since I wrote last. I TOLD you it wouldn't be a regular thing!
Parenting is a tough subject. Every person who has kids thinks that how they do things is the right way. I'm not claiming to be the perfect parent. I'm sure there are things I could have done, or could do in the future, better. For instance, if I could, I would be home more often so my 13-year-old could be a kid more, instead of having to babysit his sister. It's not like he has to do it every day, or all day. But in a 13-year-old's life, babysitting your sibling(s) even just a few hours, a couple times a week is torturous. I know. I had to do it. But hey, I turned out OK, right? Don't answer that.
The one thing I know I do well though, is spend every minute I can with them. Even if we are at home doing nothing.....we are at home doing nothing together. When I get off work, I don't go grocery shopping, or hanging out with friends. I go home, to my kids. Whether they admit it or not, whether they like it or not, they need me. My daughter, who's 8, needs me to keep her on task while she does her homework.....and help her spell words that are not familiar to her.....and keep her on task while she does her homework. When she's done, she needs a hug and a "Good job!" from me. She needs me to tell her to go play outside instead of sitting in front of the TV......again. My son, 13, needs me to make sure he does his homework.....check his math.....help him find social studies information in the internet. He needs me to joke around with him about girls - though he says he hates that: "Mooooom, I don't HAVE a girlfriend!" He needs me to keep his sister occupied so he can go play with friends, oh excuse me, "hang" with his friends. He needs me to give him a curfew, and remind him about it every time he leaves the house. He needs me to set ground rules (no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no girls). Well that last one USED to be no girls, now it's no kissing, in the nearby future it will be no sex. He needs (and this is really the most important) for me to enforce those rules, and give him consequences if he breaks them.
My children need bedtimes, and bedtime routines. Sometimes they need to be reminded of different ways to have fun: playing a board game, baseball in the yard, dancing in the rain, climbing a tree. When they were little, they needed me to read to them, so they would start learning to read. When we are out in public, they need to be reminded of manners, and "inside voices" and proper behavior in a store. Um, they get that reminder a lot. Haven't quite learned that lesson yet. Especially when we go in the store where I work. Since I work there, and they have been there so much in the past 5 years, I think they feel at home...........and act accordingly. However, Lowe's is not the place to play tag or run down the aisles and slide on your knees. So I constantly remind them how they are supposed to behave, and that this is my workplace and it's embarrassing for my coworkers to think my kids are barbarians who don't know how to behave in a store.
My kids need me to use every experience, good or bad, as a teaching experience. When we go shopping, I help my daughter figure out how much money she has (by counting ALL her dimes, nickels and pennies, ugh) and deciding which toy, if any, she can afford. When we watch the news and see someone was arrested for a sex crime, not only do I remind my kids that there are creeps out there and they shouldn't talk to strangers unless it's absolutely necessary - I also talk to my son about "no means no" and how a sexual arrest will follow you for the rest of your life. There was a tragic accident near our home in which a Petoskey senior was killed while trying to change a flat. I used the situation as a teaching tool for my soon-to-be-driving son. There were several lessons to learn there, for both of us.
My point is this. Children need their parents. Not just for a roof over their heads and food on the table at mealtime. They need instruction, attention, rule setting, discipline, love. Life is full of little opportunities. I worry sometimes that I won't get to all of them, and I feel so sad for the kids of parents who don't even try.
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